Being a Mom is Hard. My Aha!! Moment.
I love profound Aha! Moments. Even when they’re painful. Maybe especially when they’re painful.
Last week, I posted about learning my element and how it profoundly altered how I do everything. But the heart-sear, gut-punch moment came when I looked up my boys’ elements.
First, I looked up hubs. He’s Earth. That made perfect sense. He’s stable, strong, immovable, and it takes about a million years for me to wear him down with my incessant fluidity in all things. I’m in constant motion with every aspect of our lives and he’s a solid marble boulder, contentedly standing strong through the raging rapids I send at him.
Our youngest son is the same, but parenting Earth is a challenge when I’m trying to get that same solid landform to put on some socks and hurry the hell up so we won’t be late. But he’s also convicted and strong and fiercely loyal.
The big Aha! came as I found my oldest’s element. He is Fire. I sagged beneath the weight of what that meant with my Water. Suddenly, I realized why I can extinguish his light with a simple phrase, or why the tone of my voice impacts him so deeply. When I say things to him, they don’t wash over him like they do with the other two. They wipe out his existence.
Mom. Guilt. Moment.
I sat with the knowledge for a moment and really soaked it in. Knowledge is power. Now that I know our elements, I can choose my words wisely. I’m a giant failure at “Love is Patient, Love is Kind…” so it’s something I’ve been working on forever . . . and was really good at when we only had him as our one baby. But adding a second seemed to sweep my patience and tolerance right out the window. Being a mom is freaking hard. I worry endlessly that I’m screwing them up.
I will say that having a way to delve deeper into this Fire/Water relationship is at least a little comforting. I’ve been trying to find resources about parenting/communicating with other elements, but haven’t found a ton out there. I’ll share more as I find it . . . and please send me anything you know of.
This site had some cool articles.
PS – You’re a good mom!